feb 20 2007 tescos

Tescos get bigger and bigger, more and more diverse. But are they getting further and fuurther away from what it's all about?

Don't get me started about the selfish swine who park in the parent-and-child parking bays when they don't have kids. Do Tescos police this? Do they hell. No money in that.

I went in on Sunday to buy stuff to make lunch. I wanted some mackerel fillets. None on the fish counter, but, said, the fish counter lady, I should get some on aisle 10. Success! Two nice plump mackerel (omega4 oils - good for the heart).

Back I went to the fish counter. 'Would you mind felleting these for me?' I asked.

'Sorry love,' she rued. 'They are already packaged and priced so I can't.'

'Can't you just take them OUT of the packaging, fillet them for me, then put them back IN the packaging with a bit of cling film over the top,' I suggested.

'Sorry,' she said. 'Not allowed.'

Bought Morgan, 4, a 'Kitten Hospital' toy for £3.97 as well as £70 worth of groceries (Yes I bought the mackerel and filleted them myself).

At the checkout, the checkout lady said: 'Can't find a price code for the toy, love' I'll have to send someone over to that section.'

'£3.97.' I said.

But off she went anyway.

Waited ages. Eventually lady comes back and says: 'Can't find a price code. It's new in, and musn't have one yet.'

'£3.97.' I said.

'That's the price not a pricecode,' She responded. 'And because it hasn't got a price code we can't sell it to you.'

Morgan was beginning to cotton on to the fact that there was an issue here. 'Daddy, I want my kitten hospital,' she said beseechingly.

'Can't I just pay you £3.97?' I said. 'Sorry', she said.

Morgan began to cry.

'Can't I pay you MORE than £3.97,' I said with a hint of desperation. 'Sorry', she said.

'Morgan, I said. 'This lady is now going to tell you why you can't have your kitten hospital.'

'She looked down at Morgan. 'Sorry darlin' but we can't sell it to daddy because there's no price code.'

She may as well have said it was due to depletion of the ozone layer or a gypsy's curse.

Morgan howled. Back to toys I went and spent £6.97 on something else. Then walked the long walk to the far end of the car park.

Send me your supermarket misery stories. Or am I alone in my suffering?