Valentine tips feb 13 2008

Three tips for Valentine's Day (which is tomorrow so you're probably doomed already).

1. If you are buying earrings for your girlfriend make sure the sales assistant wraps them in a pen box and not a little square box.

If you get this WRONG, she thinks it's an engagement ring. And when she opens it, it's more than a huge blow.

2. If you are out and about tomorrow lunchtime, anyone having lunch as a couple are obviously in an illicit relationship..

They have to take the wife/partner/husband out in the evening so the only time they can see the bit on the side is lunchtime.

Stare at them and wink. Make sure THEY know that YOU know.

3. Always remember: the small bouquet means she'll love you for ever, but the big bouquet guarantees sex. The choice is yours.

Me? I'm off to Portugal for three days with Lynne, leaving the children at home with her parents.
Just hoping she's well enough to travel. Every day an adventure...